Aotearoa, January 2020
A much loved rabbit ‘WANTED – Dead or Alive’ for past bad behaviour!
DAY 1: Louis Lapin snuck out last night and is upset that he couldn’t find one single lettuce in any of the neighbouring gardens.
DAY 2: What am I to do with a demented rabbit who can’t find his favourite delicacies?
DAY 3: Louis Lapin is beside himself. He ventured out in the pouring rain and returned with just one miserable carrot.
DAY4: My patience is being tried, with Louis raiding the fridge in the middle of the night.
DAY 5: Louisa is back in NZ, but has been in quarantine for the past three weeks. For some reason Louis seems to be freaking out.
DAY 6: Louisa is headed our way. Louis is concerned that Louisa will burst our bubble by breaking in to borrow the high-heeled shoes.
DAY 7: Already the siblings are not on speaking terms. She is holed up in his burrow with a packet of his favourite chocolate biscuits.
DAY 8: Talk about Hot Cross Bunnies! Both of them are now racing around the lounge, because he bit her tail – he says by mistake.
Our favourite fur-ball has a fetish for high-heeled shoes and pearls!
DAY 9: These two rabbits never really got on. Actually she is his step-sister – same father, different mothers!
DAY 10: “Uncle” Romero – charmed the pants off Louis’ mother, skipped back across the Italian border to shack up with a younger bunny, Louisa’s mother.
DAY 11: Talking of knickers – Louis has been stealing thongs and trading them as face-masks at an exorbitant rate. Six carrots for one G – String.
DAY 12: Bad boy applied for a job delivering Easter eggs (an essential service) but he was turned down because of his flat feet.
DAY 13: Louisa scored a pre-Easter production line job but was fired on her first day for dipping her ears in the chocolate. She always was a sucker with a sweet tooth.
DAY 14: Loving the thrill of the chase, Louis slipped on the soap in the shower, while pursuing you-know-who. Quite a nasty accident – I fear his antics could be curtailed for some time.
DAY15: Louisa fancies herself as a nurse. Imagine the power trip! She just took his temperature which wasn’t really necessary – or was it!?
DAY 16: Wonder-girl is off to Bunnythorpe where Uncle Gerard is a squatter-farmer growing carrots. Louis is hopping mad and has scoffed the stash of the Easter eggs under her bed.
DAY 17: Louisa is back. All of a sudden, there seems to be an awful lot of Easter eggs and carrots in our fridge. Louis has eaten so many of each that he has come out in a rash.
Lockdown continues, tempers are frayed, and the drama is never ending…
DAY 18: Uncle Gerard has become quite unhinged over the carrot burglary – aimlessly driving around the paddock in a stolen tractor.
DAY 19: Our furry friend is not in a good space – upset because his sister broke his favourite string of my pearls. I fear for his state of mind… and mine!
DAY 20: Louis has offspring he doesn’t want to know about – dozens of them. I notice a rabbit from the Social Welfare Department is sniffing around.
DAY 21: Our wayward bunny wants to know what a Paternity Suit is. He asked if it includes a waistcoat.
DAY 22: Dear Louisa has offered to knit him a beetroot-red angora woolen waistcoat. He is not that concerned if it is colour-fast or not.
DAY 23: By way of saying thanks, Louis gave Louisa a very hot radish, instead of the planned Easter egg which is now long gone.
Day 24: Boredom has really set in. Louis stole my lipstick, making an awful mess of the tube. His lips now have that Botox effect.
Day 25: I feel Louis needs to learn a serious lesson, but I doubt that he will.
Day 26: This time Louis is in big trouble. He stole the cat’s pajamas. This crime carries a maximum sentence of one month without jellimeat. However, he could get off on a technicality.
Our loveable rascal continues to test the patience of all concerned!
Day 27: Louis has joined the sophisticated Angora Underground Movement dealing in luxury items such a toothpaste, lipstick, nail-polish, and perfume.
Day 28: The Rabbito Police Force raided last night, looking for stolen contraband. They were asking a lot of pertinent questions. To my knowledge, neither delinquent has been out of the country recently.
Day 29: Louisa being the smarter of the two fur-balls, is setting up an online dating service called Love Bunny. Of course she is on the lookout for the perfect hot date!
Day 30: Louis is stress eating, and rapidly putting on weight. Yesterday I found him stuck head-first in the rubbish tin. Getting him out was like pulling a cork out of a bottle.
Day 31: With the possibility of Lockdown being extended, Louis realizes that for him it could be a case of Lockup not Lockdown.
Day 32: Another fight broke out about whether parsnips should be sliced or diced. Louis has black eye. Louisa has a broken a tooth.
The new normal will be very different, even for a wayward rabbit!
Day 33: Deciding burglary is not the way to go, Louisa has joined the Green Party as she is quite open to eating a wide variety of vegetables.
Day 34: Being a little more enterprising Louis has joined the Lagomorph Society (rabbit mafia) to get the lowdown on the Stock Exchange, Futures, and Insider Trading.
Day 35: Today is Louis’ 21st birthday! His mother (Madame Derriere Grande) who runs a brothel in Auckland, sent him the key to The Hutch. What a joke!
Day 36: There has been an outbreak of Myxomatosis (viral rabbit disease) in Bunnythorpe, Uncle Gerard who is 70+ didn’t self-isolate. Plus he is suffering from Alzheimer’s and can’t remember where he last squatted.
Day 37: The writing is on the wall of the hutch for poor old Uncle Gerard. He is in Intensive Care, being drip-fed carrot juice.
Day 38: Uncle Gerard popped his clogs and skipped off to Bunny Heaven. I wonder who will move to Bunnythorpe and take up the Squatter-ship.
Day 39: Louis is chewing over the idea of giving the inherited squatter-ship to Louisa provided she is prepared to sow and harvest all the carrots. Personally, I can’t see this working!
Day 40: The world is a very different place. Louis has had to resort to modeling again.
And Louisa has been forced to return to the oldest profession in the book!
Jan Waterfield is a practicing artist living in Waikanae on the Kapiti Coast, Aotearoa New Zealand. She says of her painting and stories:
I see painting as a means of visual story-telling,
but often when I paint, poems and storylines emerge.
Although my painting tends towards realism
it always contains element of fantasy,
which I like to describe as gentle surrealism.
I created this light-hearted journal
during the first COVID Lockdown.
Louis Lapin has been with me for several years now.
However, he shows no sign of moving on.
Love in the Time of COVID 